My English Books

From February 2022 on Amazon!

"I had always imagined that, seeing a ghost, I would faint or become one of them!"

Who's afraid of the light?


I vividly recall the time when I was afraid of the dark. As a small boy, the walk to the attic where I slept meant taking the stairs in a rush, because the light switch was short tempered and could leave you in the dark halfway. Then the corridor towards our bedroom. It must have had a light somewhere, sometime, but this was no longer the case. Pitch dark, counting steps to the last door to the right. Was I a real man or not? That question came up every night, especially in the winter when my cold breath seemed to freeze in the air. Mind you; there was zero heating in the hallway or our room. Darkness was the scariest thing- then.

Some forty years later darkness was no longer scary. Only because by then I had experienced so much worse.

Pia was visiting a friend that night and I had just said goodbye to Heidi and Nancy, left them in the safety of their apartment. Inside the courtyard I was greeted by such abundance of unrest that I took a moment, attempting to digest this event with all my senses. The restaurant was closed by now, all the guests had left or were in their room. There was an old chestnut tree in the middle of the yard and a wild cat ran around it. Yes, there was a wind circling the area, while there was none to speak of anywhere else. The energy seemed touchable and I surprised myself by standing in the middle of the turmoil calling out:

"WHAT is it you want? What is this?"

I expected neither answer or explanation and none were given. Desperation welled up inside me, we had been through so much by then. Finally I entered the main house through the kitchen. The same kind of wind was here, but not quite. It was more a sensation of rapid movement. and after switching the lights on, I immediately shut them off again.

In near complete darkness, apart from a bleak moonlight shining, I tried again to put words on the incomprehensible events taking place around me. The cat had been replaced by a big fat fly, who at frantic speed covered the length of the whole kitchen, back and forth, forth and back. Annoying as it was, I did not even attempt to kill it.

All I wanted was to keep the lights shut off, to see what happened outside. A lit room would mean the outside remained black, but I knew by then that whatever was bugging us, could never be kept outside. It went through walls and doors as if none were present.

Earlier that day we had been sitting in the living room, all four of us. And we had talked openly with Heidi and Nancy. How in a certain parts of the building strange things were happening, and that we just had to live with it. But the house decided otherwise.

The change in temperature in the far corner of our living room meant that nobody wanted to sit there. In fact nobody could.

So I made it my place, usually with a blanket around me against a chill that could not be explained. It was not the wind, no draft, just really cold. The hairs of the back of your neck standing up. Now I had put Nancy in that fateful spot.

"I cannot sit there. It feels all wrong, so scary!" said Nancy. "When you wanted to show Heidi something in the office, I HAD to come. I could not stay here alone."

"There are strange things happening, that's for sure!" None of us had ever experienced anything like this before anywhere. Pia and I, we only believed what we could see, feel and touch. But these events matched all too well.

Pia shook her head; "You and I, we are just never scared enough!"

You look so good, it's a crime! I cannot wait to put my fingerprints all over the evidence... 

Synopsis of the work 

Bravado is a work of fiction rich in glamour and intimacy, set against a backdrop of the high-pressure world of the rich and famous. The story takes place in modern times when fame and money mean that every action is scrutinized and criticized.

The story begins with Jennifer Barrows, a younger freelance reporter who isn't too happy with how her life - and particulary her love life - is going. However, while on a job for a magazine, she meets Paul Berg, a young boxer who surprises her with his character and down-to-earth nature. Jennifer is immediately attracted to Paul and doesn't understand why at the end of their evening together, he snubs her obvious sexual attraction to him. In her frustration, Jennifer does something she will regret for several years to come and writes an article that is highly critical of Paul.

However, before the article is published, Paul's attitude is explained as nothing more than a need to sleep before his fight the following day. After the fight, Paul is far from reticent, and the couple fall for each other in a big way.

Jennifer tries to get the article cancelled, but her editor refuses, and when Paul sees it, he's extremely upset about what Jennifer has written about him. This, added by miscommunication leads to the couple separating and going their separate ways. Paul goes to the USA to try and make it big on the US boxing circuit, while Jennifer's life takes a twist she could never have imagined in her wildest dreams.

While on a assignment to interview a gangsta rap band, Jennifer is asked if she wants to join the tour and lip-sync to one of the band's songs. The original singer is deemed "dog-face" not attractive enough to be on stage. Feeling she has nothing to lose, Jennifer agrees.

One day while on tour, a technician asks Jennifer to do a sound check on a mike. Jennifer sings into the mike and is overheard by the tour manager. And when the director of the record company sees a video of the performance, a star is born.

Jennifer changes her name to "Domino" and her life soon becomes a whirlwind of recording, touring, interviews and all the trappings of fame that comes with it. However, one thing is still missing from her life - Paul Berg.

After finding out where he is, Jennifer arranges a reunion that brings Paul back into her life. Everything is perfect and life could not be better for the couple. But trouble is never far away. Enter Karen, Domino's beautiful private secretary. This near Miss at the Minnesota beauty pageant is invited into the relationship and manipulated by Jennifer into becoming a sexual partner for both Paul and her. But is it just sex? Does love play a part?

The movie industry beckons and Jennifer starts an acting career to compliment her music. She meets Tony de Marco, a handsome young actor who also has mafia connections. His relationship with Domino soon brings out Paul's jealous side, but does he have any right to be jealous? He has Karen after all, with Jennifer's blessing.

While Domino's career is moving along with great success, Paul's boxing has taken a back seat, mostly on Jennifer's insistence. Paul, however, has always had a desire to make it on his own and boxing is the only way he knows how. Being brought up in an abusive environment taught Paul to stand up for himself and that part of him will never change. He wants a shot at the world title but getting there means fighting his best friend.

Paul eventually gets his change at the title, but Jennifer has been moving behind the scenes and using Tony de Marco's mafia connections to effectively "buy" the title for Paul. This is the last thing Paul wants and it is the last straw.

What will Paul do? What will become of Karen, will she choose Paul or Jennifer? Can Paul walk away from his life of luxury and his beautiful but plotting wife?

There are plenty of subplots along the way that help complicate life even more for Jennifer and Paul. Jennifer's babysister brings her own issues to the story and ends up embroiled in the LA porn industry, much to her sister's dismay. Jennifer's interfering and overbearing mother brings her own brand of disapproval to everything her daughter does, another complication the famous singer/actress can do without. A member of the original band Jennifer went on tour with decides to make a name for himself by claiming a sexual relationship with the famous singer. Is it true? What will Paul's reaction be? There's also an attempt on Domino's life by a deranged fan to add to the drama.

All these things and more keep the story ripping along and there is always something happening to keep the reader turning pages, desperate to find out what happens next.

Conclusion:

Bravado is an excellent read for anyone who is interested in the highs and lows of being famous, the dark side of the golden coin. - And who isn't? It is a first-class portrayal of how fame affects people's characters and the lives of those around them. The story moves along at a fast pace with strong content and excellent characters. The author brings the story to life with excellent descriptive language and natural storytelling.  


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KAMIKAZE Butterflies

Copyright © 2009 Peter Frensdorf


I would never get hitched to a man who is dumb enough to pay three million for a fifty Euro whore!"  

ONE

He roamed the streets of the Red Light district of Amsterdam, among predators of female flesh. From window to window, it amused him to notice the difference in the hookers attitude as he passed by. He knew that he was a good looking man, not like some of the others scanning the streets with him. 

Sometimes he stopped to look how the women reacted to men of all ages, checking them out. Despite an overall reddish glow this was the coldest meat market imaginable. Some girls were tapping the windows towards their potential customers, waiving COME IN. Their faces grotesque with faked smiles, in an effort to mask disgust with males in particular and human kind in general for allowing groceries in human flesh. 

Many girls were young. The older women, the more inner pain they were hiding, increasingly more makeup was needed to mask it. The expression on the man's face did not change as he walked by her, nor did he look any longer than towards the others, that he had discarded. He didn't need to. 

This was her! It took a connoisseur of female beauty to look past first appearances. The window of the girl of his choice was placed higher than others and he swiftly took the steps to reach her. It took mere seconds before she opened the door.

"Fifty." she spoke with a heavy accent, probably from Eastern Europe. The man just looked at her face, seemed to study something momentarily that was beyond skin. She was tiny and had, if you were able to look past all the makeup, a very beautiful face. Young, maybe just eighteen. She had to be, in order to be a registered prostitute in Amsterdam. She wouldn't have a window without her papers and having been checked.

"Okay." They entered the tiny room. A twin size bed with full size mirror, a sink with a smaller mirror and a bidet. After closing the curtain the girl paused, obviously waiting for the money.

"How much did you say?" She sighed audibly. Another cheapskate. "Fifty."

"Why fifty? How do you arrive to that number?" She shrugged, "They all ask the same, more or less." 

 "So which category to you belong? Are you more or less compared to others?" A faint smile; "More. I'm much more."

"Then you should demand more." She shrugged again.   

"What's your name?"

"Anna."

"No. Your real name."

"Talking cost too." 

He took out a banknote and handed it to her. It was fifty Euros and the girl quickly folded it away into a tiny wallet which she put into a drawer. Then returned to him,

"Okay, what do you want?"

"What do you usually give for that money?" 

 "Suck and fuck."

"And your real name is?" A sly smile.

"You don't believe my name is Anna?"

"It isn't."

"How would you know?"

"I'll may tell you later. I'm still waiting."

"My name is Brittney."

"No. But your real name?"

"Hey. Now you're starting to freak me out. How did you know that?" His turn to smile.

"I study people. You give signals when you lie."

 "Oh, I do?" She touched her face, surprised.

"Not just you. Everyone does, some more clearly than others." Her stiffened stature relaxed with a sign of relief.

"I'm Bridget." The man finally nodded.

"My name is George. Do you believe me when I say that?"  

 "Listen. Maybe you're a really nice guy but I don't care what your name is. Do you want to fuck or talk?"

"We just met. Why would you want to have sex with me?" She rolled her eyes, this was getting really weird.

"Because you paid me?"

"Your sex is for sale? I give you money and you give yourself, body, mind and soul?"

Now she laughed openly.

"Of course not. Just my body."

"Who gets the rest? You have a boyfriend?" 

 "No."

"Is he nice to you? Does he threat you well?" 

 "Yes. Very well."

"He doesn't? Why do you stand for it? You are a very beautiful girl."

"Can't you hear my answer? He's good to me." 

 "I hear the words. But you are telling me otherwise."

"That's right. You can see when I'm lying. Is that the game you want to play for your fifty? Fine with me."

"I don't play games. I'm here because I find you very attractive. Your face. That tiny body of yours, those nice breasts. Are they real?"

She was about to answer, then changed her mind, 

"No."

"No? You're telling me they are not real?" "Whatever I say, you go the other way. So no, they're silicones. No, soja filled. Feels more natural."

"Still a nice job. My compliments to the creator, your parents." She shook her head.

"Now I don't know how you do it. I'm getting a bit curious."

"That's good. It's a start. Is your boyfriend your pimp?"

"No. Yes, in a way I suppose so."

"He got you started. Okay. Do you want to get out of this business?"

"Sometimes. But the money..."

"I know. That's always addictive. We are all whores in some way or another. The question is what are you buying with the money? Is it worth what you have to do to get it?"

She curled her lips.

"I don't have to do anything, I can say no anytime. If the Johns are dirty or I just don't like the sight of them. I just refuse."

"Still. How long have you been in this business?"

"Four months." 

 "A baby. You can still get out if you want to."

 "Stop saying that! I can quit anytime."

"As long as you know that. Well, what can we do? What is on your list and what isn't?"

She looked him over, a man of average build, dark blond hair with a neat cut. Unshaven for maybe two, three days. Intelligent eyes. He was in his early thirties and well dressed.

"Why are you here? You can get girls."

"Thanks. I am aware of that. I'm here for kicks."

"Kicks or kinky stuff?" She had learned that young good looking men can be very demanding. Regular sex was free for them, they came for something special.

"Don't worry. I want nothing that you are not willing to do with me. So how about that list?"

She knew it by heart:

"Hundred for a half hour, hundred seventy for a whole hour. I suck and fuck only with condom. No anal and I don't kiss."

"I see. Suppose we get out of here and you take that awful makeup off your face. Have dinner with me? How much for that?"

"Okay, that's four hundred."

"That's crazy."

"I cannot go cheaper. Not for a whole night." 

He shook his head;  "Too cheap, much too cheap. You are worth so much more."

"You want to pay....more?" She had never met a man like this one, and it was hard to comprehend what he was after.

"Desperately. It's important that I do."

"How much more?"

He rubbed his chin, "To get that pimp off your back, so to say. Five hundred for him. Another five hundred for you." He took out five hundred Euro bills.

"Half now, the rest when you meet me in my hotel. The American hotel, room four hundred seven."

She took the money and tried to fold it like she had done with the fifty, it was much harder to fit into the wallet. She nodded, "What time?"

"Right now. In a hour. Give him half the money and get that makeup off, take a shower. No fake nails, no polish or color. Dress like you do when you are not working, know what I mean? Here's a key-card with my name. "

"Yep. I'll be there in hour." 

He nodded and she opened the door for him.


***  Contact me for the rest

Bright lights like yours are not meant to shine too long. You are not meant to grow gray and ugly, you need to be remembered every bit as beautiful as you have always been.  

Synopsis of the work 

The Royal Novice is modern Tongue-in-cheek fairy tale. Nothing in this book is based on real events. Or is it? 

There is a fresh breeze blowing through the remaining Monarchies, ever since the Royals dropped the rule that their offspring needs to marry blue blood. With this useless nonsense overboard, may we expect calm sailing? Meet Marion. Prince Claus from Norden falls for the Canadian beauty and intends to marry her. Her background is swiftly checked out and her past altered accordingly. She is now white as the driven snow and any past boyfriend who says otherwise gets bribed and bullied into oblivion by the Royal bodyguards, the Shadows. After the Queen's approval, the preparations for the wedding can start. 

One slight problem remains, because Marion despises Claus! Will kissing the frog make him any more likeable? Because becoming a princess, is there any girl alive who can say no to that?


The Royal Novice

Copyright © 2009 Peter Frensdorf  

Whenever Marion looked at the camera she was aware that he was behind it. He conducted his hobby in a most professional manner and only the slightest details, the secret language just known to them, made her smile inside. His fingers in the air prompting her to stop moving had caressed her cheek and so much more as recently as last night. It was pure torture that she had to act as nothing happened while her soul was burning with lust for him. Him. Her secret lover had eyes that always seemed to laugh, placed just right in his intelligent face. Sensitive, funny, sexy. Everything Claus was not. Because Prince Claus constantly confused his status with his accomplishments and the result was that he always overestimated himself. He had an opinion about everything but she had soon discovered he took his stand based on the blowing of the wind. Once he had chosen he defended his  impossible positions in the way only a maniac or a child would, depending on his mood. Not used to being contradicted, he often became mad and even stamped his feet. He was nothing but a pompous twit. No. She must not think like that! It just amounted to make her own life that much harder. Marion sighed audibly while noticing he was changing the setup. Suddenly she was eager to see that look of approval in his eyes. There! A quick flick but she turned away to hide her pleasure. It was sad that she had to make due with crumbs. But that was simply the price she had to pay to become a princess.

1 

See the Beauty in the Beast 

Claus was tall and his face looked much older than he actually was. There were these deep horizontal lines especially circling around his narrow mouth. He always stood very straight upwards like he had swallowed a broomstick. 

This was to remind himself as well as others that he showed the decorum his brother Leopold was sadly lacking. But there it was! While he was therefore more deserving and would make a much better King.....Leopold was the firstborn and only a disaster could change the injustice fate had created. That his brother would be King, and not him. 

All that was left for Claus was to display his value to the common people as he had done so many times already. Unfortunately that so many of them lacked the basic intelligence to see his subtle superiority. So they made Leo more popular in the tabloids and therefore with the people too.  

Soon things would change! When Marion would be officially introduced to the World as his wife to be.... then they would see what he was worth. Oh, Marion, so beautiful and elegant was already learning the Nordish language quite well. She was smart. 

Okay, she was also a smart-ass, thinking she knew more than him, but what a small price to pay. And he would tame her soon enough. Since the first time they had met he had known she was the one. The way her cat-like green eyes had looked around the room, otherwise filled with other gorgeous girls, Marion just stood out right away. And getting through to her had not been easy either.... They had talked for a while and he had learned that she was a local girl. Then she had moved on to talk to someone else. Until his black American Express gave his secret away, just as he had intended. He had waited patiently until she returned to the bar and her response was quick: 

"What's that? I've never seen one of those!" 

"I bet you haven't..." 

"No, seriously... let me look." 

And her elegant fingers turned the card around as quick and smooth as a magician before handing it back: "Okay...so you're someone special." 

He just smiled while she pondered and looked him over from his well-groomed head to his fifteen hundred dollar shoes. " An athlete? No, you're too spiny. In a band? Not with that accent. Okay, you're just filthy rich? Cannot be. Then your card would just be platinum...well, you've got me. I give up!" 

All he had to do was look at his man Gerald who rushed to respond. He leaned over to whisper something into her ear. She was first taken aback allowing a stranger coming so close to her, but when she heard the words her expression changed instantly: 

"No! You're tripping....really?" 

Claus just nodded while he put his finger on his lips

 "But hush! I don't want to stir things up!" "But really. I would never thought..." 

The conversation stalled there. "And I am not even the only one here...." he confided in her. 

"Who else?" "Well, him and him. Spain and the Netherlands" She looked before answering and found both men were much more attractive than he was. But they were also busy with other girls. 

"I had the feeling there was something weird about this place...now I know what it is. So you will be ... King?" They were speaking very softly but the noise around them had prompted her to be very close to him, which he enjoyed tremendously. Her smell and her olive skin... her eyes.... He also was taken in by her demeanor which was very standoff-is, so much unlike the all other girls he had known. They had been just as eager to get him as to keep him and take their once in a lifetime chance to become a princess. 

Because this was the ultimate price in the Royal lottery. One day, one very special girl would live to see her dream become reality. But first he had to give the bad news, because the girl had gone directly to the spectrum of his major pain: 

"No, I won't be king. I have an older brother." 

"Bummer!" she understood. 

"Major one..." he admitted more frank than he had intended. 

"Well, it had been nice talking to you.... Got to take off." 

"Wait, what's your name and address?" he blurted out while he looked for support towards Gerald again. The man just moved his head to acknowledge that it was all under control. And only then prince Claus relaxed his grip on her. 

"Name and address..." she repeated in a mocking tone while pulling back the sleeve he had so obviously touched without her permission.

"Am I under arrest, or will you just write me fan mail?" 

"No, sorry, it's okay!" She picked up her purse and before turning her back on him: 

"I would think so...because you were kind of invading my space there, Prince Charming!" 

Then she had gone. But Gerald went right after her so Claus calmly returned to his Vodka. Things were taken care off and the girl would eventually see the light. They all did and he did not have to move a muscle. It didn't always suck to be a prince.

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©2021 Peter Frensdorf Peter@NegoLogic.com
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